Closer
by Jing Mei Chen
Summary: and the one thing that you both did perfectly....


And the morning light was breaking...  
+++++++++++++++++++++++  
This little girl looked so scared  
  
so frightened  
  
"Carter!" Mark yelled,"CARTER!"  
  
Her big brown eyes burned into his skin  
  
Something was so familliar about her  
  
"John" Deb tapped his shoulder,"Dr.Greene...." her jaw  
dropped, the color draining from her face  
  
"You know her, don't you?" he whispered  
  
Deb nodded robotically  
  
"CARTER!" Mark yelled one last time, breaking his connection   
with the big brown eyes he could have sworn he'd seen before  
  
Deb  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Slowly moving cross the bed  
He gets up without her waking  
To the voices in his head  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
"Hi"  
  
The little girl blinked  
  
Jing Mei sighed, her whole body shaking as she switched   
over to the fast paced Chinese."Is that better?"  
  
The little girl nodded  
  
"Where's your mummy?"  
  
She searched through her coat pocket eagerly, smiling at Jing mei,  
until she pulled out a crumpled picture."My mummy"  
  
"Oh god" Jing Mei gasped  
  
From the admit desk, Carter kept his eye on Jing Mei and the girl  
  
..."Up to surgery.Bed 2..." Mark's voice faded in and out  
  
"Your other mummy" she couldn't tear her eyes off the picture  
in front of her  
  
A blurry woman in front of a hospital. In a lab coat  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Through the shadows in the hallway  
To the room they painted blue  
On the inside he is frightened  
He's at a loss for what to do  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
She listened to the story.Even after the little girl stopped telling it  
it played over and over in her head  
  
They had died. Her grandmother gave her the letters, the address of   
the mother in Chicago, the one in the picture  
  
"Do you really live here?" the little girl asked  
  
"Can you tell me your name?" Deb asked  
  
The little girl looked at her curiously."You're Jing Mei"  
  
Deb nodded slowly  
  
"I'm Maeko"  
  
"Who do we have here? I sent for labs awhile ago, Dr.Chen" Kerry   
huffed through a forced smile  
  
"I'm not a nurse" she bent down and picked up Maeko as she walked away.  
"And I'm tending to my patient"  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Till he opens up his eyes  
And the angels all look down  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
"Deb!" Carter cried,"Deb! Deb! Deb!"  
  
Maeko clung tightly to Deb's hand."Who's that?"  
  
JIng Mei looked down at Maeko, then back at Carter."Your ba-ba"  
  
"She doesn't speak english?" he asked, ruffling the girl's hair  
  
She shook her head  
  
"Is she by herself?"  
  
Deb rolled her eyes, setting the soda in front of the girl who  
had sat down on the couch in the lounge  
  
"Deb"  
  
She sighed,"Yeah she's alone. Maeko left California to look for her  
birth mom,who's here.All she has left is her grandmother"  
  
Maeko looked up,searching Carter's face  
  
Deb looked away  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Even closer than this life  
Closer than your faith  
Closer than the things that you hold dearly and in vain  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
"How fast do DNA tests come back?"  
  
Abby dropped her chart."What??"  
  
"DNA" Carter answered semi calmly  
  
"If ordered STAT" she followed his eyes to where they were both  
watching Deb exit the lounge with Maeko,"Two days"  
  
He nodded,"I don't have two days"  
  
"Obviously"  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
"YOu're how old Maeko?" Deb closed the door of the exam room  
and warmed the stehoscope with her palm  
  
"7"  
  
"Big girl" she replied, "7"  
  
"My birthday is...."  
  
"June third" Deb said outloud  
  
Maeko grinned proudly at Jing Mei  
  
Deb leaned over and pulled the curtain shut."Take a deep breath"  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Closer than this light  
Falling through again  
Given more than anything that you could hope to win  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
"Did someone call child services?" Kerry yelled  
  
Abby looked at Carter  
  
"Yeah Dr.Weaver" he lied," about 5 minutes ago"  
  
"Chen hasn't seen any other patients today.I don't know who she  
thinks she is..."  
  
"Your labs came back an hour ago" Abby called after Dr.Weaver  
  
Carter walked away in time to avoid Kerry's rant about  
the upstairs lab."Deb"  
  
"John?"  
  
"Where is she?"  
  
Deb bit her lip."Upstairs.Day Care. I figured I should actually do some work"  
  
Carter nodded,"Kerry..."  
  
Her face turned bitter."No mentioning Kerry"  
  
He chuckled lightly."Of course not"  
  
"YOu should go see her" JIng Mei said quietly  
  
Carter nodded  
  
"I had to call child services"  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
And he knows his life is changing  
It's never easy letting go  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
"Dr.Carter?? Dr.Chen said we would be expecting you"  
  
He looked puzzled, but smiled  
  
"Maeko's the one in the corner" the day care assisant touched his  
shoulder."She's quiet."  
  
"Thank you" carter replied. He stood in the doorway, watching her  
every move  
  
Maeko felt the eyes and turned to him, smiling. The little girl  
held out a doll for him to play, so he could join her game  
  
The Daddy doll  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
But for the first time you are mortal  
As the child before you grows  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
She went to reach for a new chart  
  
"We need to talk" Carter grabbed her arm,"Now"  
  
Deb felt her bottom lip start to quiver."John.."  
  
"Now Deb" he snapped, making a few people stare  
  
She dropped the chart and walked with him to the elevator,  
feeling the people's eyes burn into her back  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" he spat angrily as the elevator  
doors closed  
  
Jing Mei just looked at him sadly  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
And he wonders at the sight  
Of the joy that they have found  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
He held the door open that lead to the roof for her  
  
"Ever just been so scared" her voice shook  
  
Carter rubbed his eyes anxiously."she's mine, isn't she?I mean  
she's a carbon copy of you, but she's mine,isn't she?"  
  
Her bottom lip quivered as tears raced down her cheeks."I was so scared"  
  
"Deb!" he threw his arms up in disgust  
  
"I was 22, 23, maybe" she sunk down, leaning her back against the ledge.  
"I was scared.I had a new life, a new career"  
  
His daughter."I have a daughter" Carter slid down till he sat across   
from her  
  
"I never thought she'd..." Jing Mei buried her face in her hands as  
she cried  
  
"Come back?" Carter leaned over and grabbed his knees."Deb"  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Even closer than this life  
Closer than your faith  
Closer than the things that you hold dearly and in vain  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
"If I can't handle this, what am I going to do if Michael comes back?"  
Deb brought her face up and looked at him sadly  
  
"Michael wasn't a secret"he struggled to stand up and hug her.  
Carter reached out for her hand  
  
Deb stopped crying  
  
"Come on..I hate standing too close to the ledge"  
  
She nodded, reaching out for his hand  
  
He picked up her other hand and placed it on his shoulder.  
His arm around her waist."I couldn't really think of a better  
time for her to come,actually" Carter announced, pulling her into  
a slow dance  
  
Deb rested her face on his shoulder, wanting to cry  
  
"She came when we were both ready" he lowered his voice."We can do  
this"  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Closer than this light  
Falling through again  
Given more than anything that you could hope to win  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Deb closed her eyes, resting her body against his  
  
"Maeko what?"  
  
She opened one eye, looking at his calmly smiling face."Maeko Grace"  
  
  
He nodded,"Does she know who I am?"  
  
Jing Mei nodded, her racing heart slowing down to it's normal pace  
  
"Wow" Carter chuckled hoarsely,his voice shaking,"Alright"  
  
Deb brought her head back up so she could see his face  
  
"She's got your eyes" his voice caught as Carter quickly looked  
away  
  
She touched the side of his face,"John?"  
  
Carter looked back at her, tears racing down his face."I'm scared" he   
said quietly  
  
Jing Mei bent down and kissed his forehead."We can do this"  
  
"We can do this" Carter repeated softly  
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
Closer than this life  
Closer finally  
Living for the only thing you ever made complete  
Oh... the one thing that you both did perfectly... 


End file.
